03/11/2025

Taking the Pressure Off: Reducing Family Stress This National Stress Awareness Day

3-7 November marks National Stress Awareness Week — a gentle reminder from the International Stress Management Association (ISMA) to take stock of how we’re really doing.

It’s often talked about in the context of work, but let’s be honest — for many of us, the real stress starts after work. Between school runs, meals, homework, housework and trying to stay connected as a family, it can sometimes feel like we’re all running on empty.

This week is a good opportunity to pause, breathe, and think about how we can make life a little calmer — for ourselves, our children, and our partners. Not through huge changes, but through small, realistic tweaks that help everyone feel more supported and less frazzled.

Understanding how stress shows up at home

Stress isn’t just about being “busy.” It’s what happens when the demands of life start to feel bigger than our ability to cope. And when one person in a family is stressed; whether that’s a parent, a teenager, or a toddler, it tends to ripple out.

Children might not have the words to say, “I’m overwhelmed,” but they’ll show it in other ways: more tears, arguments, or moodiness. Adults might get snappier, quieter, or simply exhausted. No one’s doing anything “wrong”, it’s just how stress works. But being aware of it means we can start to gently turn the dial down.

Staying connected with your children (even when you’re all tired)

Little moments matter more than big gestures
You don’t need hours of “quality time.” A proper hug, a shared joke, or a quick chat at bedtime can mean just as much.

Listen before leaping in to fix
When a child’s upset, our instinct is to make it better. But often, they just need to feel heard. A simple “That sounds tough, I get why you’re upset” can work wonders.

Help them name and manage feelings
Try little things like:

• Taking a few deep breaths together
• Saying what they’re feeling (“It sounds like you’re frustrated”)
• Doing a quick “reset”; stretch, shake out, have a drink of water

These tiny tools help everyone calm down faster next time.

Have a family “pause” word
Pick a word that means “I need a minute.” It can stop situations spiralling and gives everyone permission to take a breather.

Keep small family rituals
Maybe it’s a Sunday pancake breakfast, a nightly “highs and lows” chat, or a walk after dinner. Predictable routines make kids feel safe — and give you all a chance to reconnect.

Helping siblings get along (most of the time!)

Focus on fairness, not comparison
Try to avoid saying things like “Why can’t you be more like your brother?” Instead, celebrate what each child brings to the mix.

Get them working together
Shared “team jobs” like setting the table or feeding the pet can turn competition into teamwork.

Create calm spaces
Give each child a little nook or chair where they can go when they need quiet. It’s not a “time-out,” it’s a “chill-out.”

Step in as a guide, not a referee
When they fight (because they will), ask: “What happened?” and “How could we sort this out?” rather than immediately taking sides.

Notice the good moments
“I saw you share that toy, that was kind.”

Positive attention often reduces the need for negative attention.

Looking after your relationship as a couple

Check in, even briefly
Two minutes a day of genuine listening, no phones, no distractions, can make a big difference.

Share the load openly
Write down all the little invisible jobs (school admin, birthday cards, washing, mental lists). Then talk about how to share or rotate them.

Set a “not right now” rule
If one of you says, “Let’s pause this chat,” agree to revisit it later. It’s a pressure release that can prevent arguments from snowballing.

Do small kindnesses
A cup of tea, a text that says “Thanks for this morning,” or doing a job the other person hates, they all count.

Make time just for the two of you
Even 10 minutes together after the kids are in bed, a quick drink, a TV show, or just a chat, keeps you feeling like partners, not just co-parents.

Getting organised (without becoming a control freak)

Tackle clutter in small bites
One drawer, one toy box, one corner at a time. Less clutter really can mean less stress. Children First UK has great tips on family stress and routines.

Use a shared family calendar
Paper, whiteboard, or app (whatever works). Seeing everyone’s plans in one place helps avoid last-minute panics.

Hold a weekly “what’s on” chat
Ten minutes on a Sunday to plan the week ahead can save hours of stress later.

Give everything a “home”
A spot for shoes, school bags, and coats means less chaos at the door.

Plan in buffer time
If you need to leave at 8.30, aim for 8.20. The extra minutes are a gift to your sanity.

Tame the tech
Turn off non-essential notifications, or have phone-free times (like during meals). Everyone’s brain needs a break.

Taking care of everyone’s wellbeing

• Small pauses add up. A few deep breaths or a quick stretch can reset your mood
• Get moving together. A walk, a kickabout, even dancing round the kitchen, it all helps
• Sleep really matters. Regular bedtimes are good for parents too!
• Eat regularly and drink water. Sounds basic, but it’s often the first thing to go
• Ask for help. Swap school runs, talk to a friend, or contact support services. You’re not alone
• If things feel heavy, reach out for professional support. Talking to a GP or counsellor can be a turning point, not a sign of weakness

More guidance from:

• Mind: Managing Stress
• NHS: Tips to Reduce Stress
• Contact: Coping with Family Stress

A final thought

National Stress Awareness Day isn’t about pretending stress doesn’t exist, it’s about noticing it and taking small steps to ease it. Families don’t need to be calm and cheerful all the time (whose are?). But by slowing things down a little, sharing the load, and being kind to ourselves and each other, we can make home feel like a softer place to land.

And that’s a goal worth working towards, one small, imperfect step at a time.