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How to help your child deal with bullying – practical advice for parents
As parents, we all want our children to feel happy, safe and confident, whether they're at school, enjoying activities or spending time with friends.
But friendships aren't always straightforward, and finding out your child is being bullied can be incredibly upsetting. It's natural to feel worried, angry or unsure about what to do next, particularly if your child is reluctant to talk about what's happening.
With Anti-Bullying Week shining a spotlight on the importance of kindness, respect and inclusion, we're sharing some practical advice to help parents recognise the signs of bullying, support their children and take positive steps towards resolving problems.
What is bullying, and how can you recognise it?
Children will naturally experience disagreements, fallouts and friendship challenges as they grow up. These can be difficult, but they're also part of learning how to manage relationships.
Bullying is different. It generally involves behaviour that is deliberately hurtful and repeated over time, often where there's an imbalance of power that makes it difficult for a child to defend themselves.
Bullying can take different forms, including:
Physical bullying: Hitting, pushing, damaging belongings or other physical intimidation.
Verbal bullying: Name-calling, teasing, threats or deliberately hurtful comments.
Social bullying: Excluding someone, spreading rumours, encouraging others to ignore them or deliberately damaging friendships.
Cyberbullying: Hurtful messages, online harassment, sharing embarrassing content or deliberately excluding someone from online groups.
Bullying isn't always obvious, particularly when it involves friendship groups or online interactions. Some children may not even recognise what's happening as bullying, while others may be reluctant to speak up.
And while repeated behaviour is a key feature of bullying, a single serious incident still deserves attention and appropriate action.
Signs your child might be experiencing bullying
Not every child will tell their parents when something is wrong. They might feel embarrassed, worry about making things worse or simply struggle to explain what's happening.
Some signs worth looking out for include:
Becoming unusually quiet, withdrawn or anxious.
Suddenly not wanting to go to school or attend activities they previously enjoyed.
Changes in friendships or being regularly left out.
Complaining of headaches, stomach aches or feeling unwell, particularly before school.
Changes in sleeping patterns, appetite or mood.
Losing confidence or becoming unusually self-critical.
Missing or damaged belongings.
Becoming upset or secretive after using their phone or social media.
Of course, these changes don't automatically mean your child is being bullied. There could be other reasons behind them.
The important thing is to notice changes in your child's behaviour and create opportunities for them to talk.
1. Start with a conversation, not an interrogation
If you're worried about your child, finding the right moment to talk can make a real difference.
Rather than sitting them down for a serious conversation, try chatting while you're doing something together, perhaps on a walk, during a car journey or while preparing dinner.
You could start with simple questions such as:
"How are things going with your friends at the moment?"
"Is there anyone at school who's making things difficult for you?"
"I've noticed you seem a bit quieter lately. Is anything worrying you?"
Try to listen without interrupting or immediately jumping in with solutions.
Children sometimes need time to explain what's happening, and they may share information gradually rather than all at once.
Most importantly, reassure them that they've done the right thing by telling you, that they don't deserve to be treated badly and that you'll work through it together.
2. Take their feelings seriously
Something that seems relatively minor to an adult can feel enormous to a child, particularly when friendships and fitting in are such an important part of their world.
Being excluded from a group chat, repeatedly left out at breaktime or laughed at in front of friends can have a significant impact on a child's confidence.
Avoid dismissing their experiences with comments such as "just ignore them" or "they're probably only joking".
Instead, acknowledge how they're feeling.
You might say:
"That sounds really upsetting. I'm glad you've told me."
Or:
"I can understand why that's making you unhappy. Let's think about what we can do."
You don't need to have all the answers immediately. Sometimes knowing they're being listened to and taken seriously is the most important first step.
3. Work with your child's school
If bullying is happening at school, it's important to involve the appropriate staff rather than expecting your child to manage everything themselves.
Most schools have an anti-bullying policy outlining how concerns should be reported and addressed.
A few practical steps can help:
Keep a record: Note incidents, dates, locations, people involved and any witnesses. Save relevant messages or screenshots.
Contact the school: Start with your child's class teacher, form tutor or pastoral team, depending on their age and the situation.
Be specific: Explain what's been happening and how it's affecting your child.
Agree on next steps: Ask what action the school will take, how your child will be supported and when you'll receive an update.
Follow up: Keep communicating until you're confident the situation has improved.
It's understandable to want an immediate resolution, but some situations, particularly those involving complicated friendship groups, can take time to address.
That doesn't mean accepting ongoing bullying. Your child should feel safe, and it's reasonable to expect clear action and regular communication.
If the situation isn't improving, follow the school's complaints procedure and consider escalating your concerns to senior leadership.
4. Help your child build confidence and resilience
Bullying can gradually chip away at a child's self-esteem, leaving them feeling isolated or questioning their own worth.
Helping them rebuild confidence can make a real difference.
Encourage activities they enjoy, celebrate their strengths and create opportunities for positive experiences outside the environment where bullying is happening.
This might include:
Joining a sports club, creative group or activity they enjoy.
Spending time with supportive friends and family.
Trying something new where they can develop skills and feel a sense of achievement.
Taking part in team activities that encourage cooperation and positive friendships.
Making time for activities that help them relax and have fun.
For some children, having friendships and interests outside school can be particularly valuable. It reminds them that their world is bigger than one friendship group or difficult situation.
Building resilience doesn't mean teaching children to tolerate bullying. It means helping them feel supported, recognise their own strengths and know when to ask for help.
5. Talk about online bullying
For many children, friendships don't end when the school day finishes.
For older children, group chats, online games and social media can be important ways to stay connected, but they can also create opportunities for bullying to continue outside school.
Online bullying can be particularly difficult because hurtful messages can be shared quickly, reach large audiences and feel impossible to escape.
If your child experiences cyberbullying:
Encourage them not to respond to abusive messages.
Save screenshots or other evidence before blocking or reporting accounts.
Use the reporting and blocking tools available on apps and platforms.
Review privacy settings together.
Contact the school if the behaviour involves pupils or affects your child's school life.
Report threats, exploitation or serious harassment to the appropriate authorities.
Try to avoid immediately removing their phone or access to online activities as a punishment for telling you. Children may be less likely to speak up if they fear losing contact with their friends.
Instead, work together on sensible boundaries that help them feel safe and supported.
6. Encourage kindness and positive friendships
Anti-Bullying Week isn't just about responding when something goes wrong. It's also an opportunity to talk to children about the kind of friend they want to be.
Small actions can make a big difference, whether that's including someone who's sitting alone, speaking kindly to others or refusing to join in when someone is being picked on.
Talk to your child about:
Recognising when jokes or teasing have become hurtful.
Respecting differences and including others.
Understanding how their words and actions affect people.
Supporting friends who are being treated unfairly.
Telling a trusted adult when they see bullying.
It's also worth reminding children that they don't need to put themselves at risk to help someone. Sometimes the most helpful thing they can do is quietly offer friendship or seek support from an adult.
These conversations can help children develop empathy, confidence and stronger relationships with others.
7. What if your child is accused of bullying someone else?
It's a conversation no parent wants to have, but it's important to respond calmly if you're told your child has been involved in bullying behaviour.
Try not to become immediately defensive or dismiss the concerns.
Listen to what's happened, speak to your child and help them understand the impact their behaviour may have had on someone else.
Children are still learning how to manage emotions, friendships and disagreements. They need clear boundaries, but they also need opportunities to reflect, take responsibility and make positive changes.
Working constructively with the school can help everyone move forward.
8. Know when to seek additional support
Bullying can have a lasting impact on a child's emotional wellbeing, particularly if it continues over time.
If your child is becoming increasingly anxious, withdrawn or distressed, don't feel you have to manage everything alone.
Your child's school pastoral team, GP or other appropriate professionals may be able to provide additional support.
There are also some excellent organisations offering advice and resources for families:
Anti-Bullying Alliance – Information, resources and guidance for parents and children.
Kidscape – Practical advice and support for families affected by bullying.
NSPCC – Guidance on recognising bullying, keeping children safe and supporting their wellbeing.
Childline – Free, confidential support for children and young people on 0800 1111.
If your child talks about self-harm or suicide, take it seriously and seek prompt professional support. If they're in immediate danger, call 999.
Helping every child feel included and valued
Every child deserves to feel safe, accepted and confident enough to be themselves.
At Barracudas, we believe that positive experiences, new friendships and opportunities to try different activities can play an important role in children's happiness, confidence and personal development.
Our school holiday activity camps bring children together through a wide variety of activities, encouraging teamwork, kindness and inclusion while giving them opportunities to explore their interests, develop new skills and have fun.
We know that friendships and social situations aren't always easy, and creating a supportive environment where children feel listened to and valued is an important part of helping them enjoy their time with us.
This Anti-Bullying Week, let's keep the conversation going. By listening to children, taking their concerns seriously and encouraging kindness in everyday situations, we can all help create environments where every child feels they belong.
And sometimes, simply knowing there's an adult they can trust can make all the difference.
